Thursday, November 23, 2006

Slammin' HOT(!?!)

In my limited interactions with the male of my species, I have repeatedly been made aware of the existence of a sub-species within the general pool of the female homo sapien sapien (yes it comes twice, do not attribute your ignorance to a typing error on my part). This select branch goes by the rather vague tags of 'hottie', 'hot chick' (not sizzlers made of poultry), 'babe', 'bomb' etc. The very first impression one gets is that of an arsenal with immense destructive capacity....maybe Dubyaman had heard that Afghanistan and Iraq were both full of hot chicks. Anyway, I very foolishly attempted to understand this classification of my sex in a systematic way. But, as usual, I was thoroughly disappointed in the men of this world. They were only able to offer me the rather inadequate explanation that 'hotties cannot be defined'. I still persisted, and persuaded some of the unwitting participants of the study to get a little more candid with their comments. So, here are the final conclusions of my study (drum roll)!

A woman is hot if her anatomy is of the variety that gives visual thrills to the male viewer. That cleared up in my mind the reason why so many guys always look slightly gormless to me, always agape....She is also hot if she is a simpering daisy or a brazen coquette. If she displays any inclination towards sense rather than sensibility, then she loses all chances of being viewed with any semblance of warmth, leave alone any emotion higher on the Celsius scale. So her input into a conversation can either be "Ooooh! You are, like, so smart, darlin'!", or, blink, blink, "I'm sooooooooooo flirting with YOU!!!" Some men claim to find women with high IQs hot. Other men tell me that they're lying through their teeth. A hot woman may wear anything she chooses to, as long as she looks like clothes are expendable to her. She should walk with a certain 'something' (smug expression of awareness of attractiveness of self). She shouldn't have a large appetite, eating like a young killer whale is so unattractive!

So all you 'thanda' women out there, rejoice! You are free to eat, think, dress, walk, articulate, and in general, just be. I suppose that there are some hot women who are all the aforementioned things without really trying. For the rest, I suggest you stop being prisoners of an assigned, imagined temperature. Its seriously not worth it, and its so much fun to be able to eat like a young killer whale!

12 comments:

ninkita said...

I have had this strong suspicion for a longish time that the whole hotchick phenom is a cooked up thing.. i mean.. seriously, how many have we seen?? there have been a few who were beautiful, a few who were really smart, some who made you stop and stare (if only because they were wearing colours that clashed to high heaven.. if there be such an expression.. you know what i mean anyhow.. yellow heels and white tubetop and blue netty shirt, for eg....hehehe)
as i was saying.. on occasion, pari looks happening, so do you, even I do.. however, would we ever think that anyof us could be called that?? by any strech of imagination?? naaaah!
and if we arent it, then it doesnt exist(since we are the best e.g.s we can find for such studies, right?)
so basically, hotchicks dont exist. and the men who talk abt hot chicks and actually refer to the kind of ppl i'd encountered in the preet-vihar McD's..... oh well, their opinion cant possibly count, can it? i mean.. it stands to reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sim said...

hai rabba ninkita ja padh le!!!!
and you know wat sangy is actually on her way to becoming a 'hot chick'(in our version) and when i pointed that to her she just growled at me...but guys version of hot chick is as far as i can tell a brainless, air head beauty who will think that guys are great cause it does wonders for their ego etc etc... and the only reason why they say that is cause they are brainless right!
did it make any sense what i just said?

heh? ok said...

@ sim
:) yeah you're totally right.... atleast, i fervently hope you are.
@ nin
yeah well if they don't exist, then the men have been fooling us really well all this time, which is not possible...

ninkita said...

oh duhness... men pretend.. to themselves, to us, to the world... but though they've managed to convince themselves,fact remains, that like all figments of imagination, it is just that... a Figment of their Useless Imaginations!!
besides, (another sidey thought..) don't you think it gives certain men major kicks in life to think that there is a subspecies that is hot etc all because they 'Will' such a perception to exist? think of the ego-boost that must be!
:P
i'm losing it!

heh? ok said...

@ nin
relax you'll ace your exam. calm down the brain a lil bit....chill, beta, chill

zypsy said...

hmmm...:-)

can't say it's totally wrong. or totally right either.

agreed. looks are important to us, and dazzles/impresses us the first time. but in the same way, hot wheels, branded clothes, fat obscene wallets...dazzles the female species in the first meeting. it doesn't last, believe me. the same goes for the other things you mentioned.

a woman who has her own opinions, who reads a lot, who's so very comfortable with who she is, who's honest to the point of being blunt, who's passionate about a few things in life, who's a bit independent....they are the HOT ones.

and for "...to eat like a young killer whale!", unless the girls weigh a 100 kilos or so, i really enjoy watching them eat. Coz, nowadays all girls do is nibble :-)

heh? ok said...

@ zypsy
allow me to inform you that there is still asizeable population of girls who do not nibble. in fact, we give the word 'hog' a whole new meaning...right, nin?

ninkita said...

i am in the process of a rethink.. i do believe young killer whales must be hot...(no, i'm refraining from all those super PJs that are hovering at my fingertips!!!) and the way i've been pigging out lately, Hog is the Only word that fits!!!

heh? ok said...

@ nin
remember in college when we used to buy waiting food to munch on while the real food got there? hehe

sun4none said...

wtf man... hot chick, smart chick, dumb chick, cute chick, raapchick :P.. it finally doesnt even fuckin matter.. bloody.. the dame mebbe fuckin hot.. but if shez jst a dumbfuck... no one wud wanna waste ones life wid her.. so get over it and jst fuckin ignore! be wat u r and be super-proud of it! cheers!

heh? ok said...

@ sun
oh, but i am!! totally! cheers

Exigo Animus said...

hmnm its abou u.
u say men n women r very simliar?
:S
lol