Monday, November 19, 2007

Long, long overdue

I've been thinking about writing this post for nearly six months now, but laziness always got in my way. So, I've read about a zillion posts on Orkut, on how it is such a royal waste of time, on how the shadiest of characters inhabit its murky depths, on how franship requests are the new weapon of the cyber Romeo etc. Let me say that I agree. Orkut Is a waste of time, because essentially social networking isn't really meant to be Deep and Meaningful. And well, the Romeos have to do something to keep up with the times. But the reason that I don't hate Orkut or even dislike it too many times is because it has brought such joy into my life. Here are some samples.

1. u r awesome ma'am. i am mesmerized and gone crazy after watching yur foto today, kindly accept me as yur frend, or i'll die. in fact even if u dont consider me as a friend,...plzz keep me as yur servant, better as yur slave, or even dog. i'll be happy in life.

I'll never have to look too far for pets. Oh, joy.

2. Hi, howz life? I was just going through your profile n thought I should try to contact you. Well I am trying to make some friendz through Orkut n I guess you would be an ideal match for that. Would you be interested to join my circle of friendz? If you wish to join in get back to me.

Circle of Friendz? I am absolutely delighted at the prospect of being Friendz with Friendz.

3. I am an artist.......... want to be ur friend

Simple and touching, except that jobless heh? ok actually had the time to check out this guy's profile and all his other friends had bare posteriors as their display pictures.

4. hi, jst gone thru your profile and found intresting ... saw your pics too ... hey u knw what u have gotta CUTE FACE .. wanna be frens??? if yes then you can add me into your buddy list my id is you can catch me online most of the time on msnger ... hope to see u there ... if u wanna knw more abt me watch out , keep smiling .. take care girl.

I've gotta cute face. I'll do it as soon as I figure out what that is.

5. hi how r u plz tell about u

About me, I can tell that I don't like telling about me too much.

6. Salam wale khum...
hw r u doing ?I just had a glimpse on yr profile and its really alluring...I know its absulately outlandish to get a unsolicated mail from a stranger(specially from a male), which I am so sure u found it so sleazy and fudge. I am so sorry miss !!! As most of the guys do the same thing for wooing females even I am not doing something really special but I couldn't find any other way to approach you.Condife me!! nothing just that I want to know you as a person and a true human being.Rest all upto to you to decide
whether I am the right person to reply or not..Candidly,I will be rejoice and delighted if u reply and cummunicate with me further..where r u from and what r u doing ? Just a little more introduction..
I am craveing to see yr response miss...
Take care of yrself and allah hafiz !!
Flaunt this sparking and glossy smile on yr face forever......
Cheers !!

Sleazy and fudge? Still blinking.

Apart from these poesies, Orkut has also ingrained in me a deep sense of community, or communities, like these ones.

1. Friendship is something very important in everyones lives......but can a friendship with opposite sex lead to a loveship????

sometimes this happens...........when ur friend become very trusty u will fall in love with him/her.........this happens in everyones life.........

Has It happened to You? And You? What about You?

2. SEX IS MOST SACRED THING OF THE WORLD becoz it can bring new life , it is gud expression of love BUT sex is very bad , if doing for just enjoying - without love and when know that marrige will absolutly not possible,, so join the community and save the world from become hell.

I've just been saved from eternal damnation. Please pitch in to save the world.

Now I must get back to earning my living, but the next time you're tempted to badmouth Orkut, I implore you to take a moment, and remember the endless joys, the simple pleasures of social networking, franship and community.

Monday, November 12, 2007


Getting hit on the head (metaphor, people) is a definitive experience in everyone's life. That is one of the Great Truths of life. In fact, some people would have you believe that it is The Great Truth of life, the one which makes the others pale in comparison. These people are either spiritual gurus or writers of bad fiction. All of us wait expectantly to get hit on the head, even as we go about our daily lives. We hand out advice about it to everyone around us, regardless of whether our own experience has qualified us to have any insights on it. It is everyone's universal PhD degree, because everyone knows.

So I got hit on the head. It plonked my cerebrum on Diwali night, and I can still see stars. Now I must talk about it, obviously, and you may indulge me by listening.

My learning so far.

1. It really is the best feeling in the world. They cannot say that too many times.

2. I've always been a giggler. Every silly little thing makes me laugh. Now this attribute has been magnified. I grin all the time, at strangers who stare back at me, wondering.

3. It makes you stop caring about the fact that if you grin at strangers, they will consider you insane. How on earth does it matter anyway?

4. It is the most effective security blanket in the world, and because of that it makes you a much calmer person.

5. Paradoxically, it is also terribly exciting.

6. It makes you look at yourself differently, more kindly. I mean, if you're nice enough for someone to actually hit you on the head, you must be quite a special person.

7. It makes you want to hug everyone, even your nitpicking landlady at times.

Now I must stop smiling and get down to more mundane things, like wondering what to have for lunch. Or maybe I can keep smiling.

P.S.: - I've been hit on the head in the literal sense twice so far. Once when I was a couple of months old and my sister dropped me on my head (gasp!) and another time when a tree branch fell squarely on my head outside the Fabindia outlet at Khar. I see the light of understanding dawning into your eyes. That's right, I'm not strange for no reason.

Monday, November 05, 2007


It's Monday afternoon and I want to write something nice. I want to not write about how very sleepy I am and how all I want to do right now is to find some cozy corner in the office where I can nap unperturbed. Seriously, I just cannot keep my eyes open. Anyway, I will postpone the nap for another ten minutes to write about my weekend.

Saturday night was when the roomies and I bonded over some intoxication. The landlady was away, so the girls came out to play. We all got extremely inebriated, and dealt with it in very different ways. R went and cooked us all a lovely dinner (talk about productive highs), S went and had herself a gastric attack and I called up certain unfortunate folks and shouted my head off. I do that a lot. I wonder why. Then the fun got even more acute, because the landlady came back early. I somehow managed to stop giggling (it's really difficult) and pretended to be interested in the reality show that she was watching. It was not too suspicious, except for the fact that everything everyone said sent me into fits of (suppressed) laughter. I don't think anyone noticed; it was very quiet laughter.

Obviously my sleep on Saturday night was of the passing out variety, so it was impossible for me to even attempt to get to dance class yesterday. RK called me a zillion times in the morning but I was pretty much catatonic. I woke up, though, when he sent me a message telling me that my famous luck had reasserted itself and my dance class had gotten cancelled. It has been RK's eternal grouse with me, ever since our university days, that whenever I have decided to miss a class on account of sleep or laziness or sleep induced laziness, that class has invariably gotten cancelled. He had thought that with time, either I would get more responsible or it would get more difficult for me to get away with my escapism. Ha, RK, I still rule.

I was sufficiently recovered by the evening to haul myself to Juhu beach for yet another round of Profound Conversation with A. I had decided not to let last weekend repeat itself, and to this end I sent him a couple of snarky reminders to be on time. But when you're destined to wait, wait you will. Therefore I overestimated distances and train speeds and ended up reaching fifteen minutes early. I didn't fancy waiting alone for too long, so I called A and told him that I'd reached, in the hope that he would also get there earlier than scheduled. He, however, had this absolute gem of a response when I told him I was early. With some amount of flourish, he dismissed me, saying, "I am not used to such situations".

This is when I went back to Ye Olde Faithful, my ever loyal standby in times of Great Need, Kitkat, who gracefully rose to the occasion and entertained me for the next half hour. I'm so glad I'm taking the week long trip to Delhi at the end of this month. If there were no other reason for her brother to get married except to provide me with an excuse to go to Delhi, I'd make sure he got married.

I'm getting accustomed to Profound Conversation, I realize. I'm even getting used to having absolutely nothing to say sometimes, because it doesn't really matter. Isn't that wonderful? It is, because I say so. Ah, upbeat and happy again. I could get used to this.

I feel like I'm floating in a vat of the most fragrant, well-brewed tea. And I do enjoy my tea.

Oh, I stopped yawning. And now I should stop rambling too. Back to work (?!).