Weird Chronicles Part Three
Without much further ado, let's get down to business.
1. If I see a beautiful tree that I don't know the name of, my head automatically labels it 'Acacia'. I doubt if I've ever seen a real acacia tree.
2. I cannot move my hips independently of my shoulders. I discovered this in dance class yesterday, where I massacred the salsa.
3. I always get epiphanies about clothes when I'm broke. What I mean by that is that the only time when I find clothes that I MUST have is when I can buy them only if I forgo transport for the rest of the month.
4. On the days that I take cabs to work, I keep laughing at random shop names and slogans. Names like "Waaa! Baby" and slogans like "If you find rates cheaper than ours, please don't call us". To the first, "Oh good god, really?" and to the second, "Well D-UH".
5. I wear two rings on my hands. Both are ugly as hell. I can't take either off because they were given to me by my super-superstitious mum, so I wear them because she had faith in their protective powers. So I wear both of them turned inwards, so that only my palms know how ugly they are.
6. When I was younger, one of my enduring ambitions was to take a helicopter equipped with a huge bucket of water and wash the dust off all the trees on the Shillong-Guwahati highway.
7. I cannot write a post without posting it immediately. No mulling over it, no editing, no writing rough drafts etc. If I know that I cannot post it rightaway, I won't write it at all. I guess that the lack of quality control shows.
8. Some part of me dies when I see people use apostrophes to denote plurals. See? It's apostrophes, not apostrophe's.
Okay, enough for now. Monday mornings need a little pick-me-up. And then one gets back to seriously pretending that one is busy. One's dramatic abilities are a constant revelation even to herself.
1. If I see a beautiful tree that I don't know the name of, my head automatically labels it 'Acacia'. I doubt if I've ever seen a real acacia tree.
2. I cannot move my hips independently of my shoulders. I discovered this in dance class yesterday, where I massacred the salsa.
3. I always get epiphanies about clothes when I'm broke. What I mean by that is that the only time when I find clothes that I MUST have is when I can buy them only if I forgo transport for the rest of the month.
4. On the days that I take cabs to work, I keep laughing at random shop names and slogans. Names like "Waaa! Baby" and slogans like "If you find rates cheaper than ours, please don't call us". To the first, "Oh good god, really?" and to the second, "Well D-UH".
5. I wear two rings on my hands. Both are ugly as hell. I can't take either off because they were given to me by my super-superstitious mum, so I wear them because she had faith in their protective powers. So I wear both of them turned inwards, so that only my palms know how ugly they are.
6. When I was younger, one of my enduring ambitions was to take a helicopter equipped with a huge bucket of water and wash the dust off all the trees on the Shillong-Guwahati highway.
7. I cannot write a post without posting it immediately. No mulling over it, no editing, no writing rough drafts etc. If I know that I cannot post it rightaway, I won't write it at all. I guess that the lack of quality control shows.
8. Some part of me dies when I see people use apostrophes to denote plurals. See? It's apostrophes, not apostrophe's.
Okay, enough for now. Monday mornings need a little pick-me-up. And then one gets back to seriously pretending that one is busy. One's dramatic abilities are a constant revelation even to herself.
Comments
N i wanna drive the Shillong-Guwahati highway...
and sure you can, just fly down to guwahati and rent a car. then you can thank me :P
oh, man. HOW can someone be so kindred. it's like you're plucking the thoughts out of my head.
and same with its and it's. i mean, THINK, what?
grammar nag is a much more common disease than we realize. lynne truss, for instance.
read the manticore's secret, and wait for the unwaba revelations, releasing soon :)
but the point i loved most is the part about washing the dust off the trees. i've wanted to do that so many times, to so many places, with so many buckets of water.
good. i wondered how no one else ever understood the tragedy of a tree that can't be green because of the cars moving around it liberally coating it with dust.
if i could articulate a withering look, i would, right about now. i'm very good at shooting those about.
i read it in one sitting from 10 am to 4 pm one day. and i've been waiting since then. sigh.