Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Weird Chronicles - II

This post is the result of my recent conversation with Pinkerton, my little sibling. We spent about an hour reminiscing about our childhood, and some of the more foolish things we did. It made me realise that certain traits do run in families, and weirdness is one of them.

Once the parents, Pinkerton and I were travelling by train from Guwahati to Kolkata. P and I were on the two top berths, conversing loudly. It went as follows: -

Me: - I have been on this berth for fifty years. I got on, forgot to get off, and now I live here.
P: - hehe.
Me: - I have rats in my hair. They go foraging for food at night, and come back and sleep here during the day.
P:- hehahahaha.
Me: - I haven't bathed in fifty years. I stink so much that my dog left me. One day he just got off the train and never came back.
P: - heheheheheee....bow wow!
Me: - arf arf!!
Parents: - Sigh. Let's eat.
Other co-passengers: - Wha..?

This other time, my mum, my two sisters and I were travelling from New Delhi to Jamshedpur on a train called Purushottam Express, and we had very adventurously decided to travel by sleeper class. The trip hadn't started very well. We'd almost missed the train, and once we were on it, we were wishing that we had, in fact, missed it. Briefly, it was dirty, crowded, slow...complete tinpot. The next day, on the train, the sisters and I came up with an alternative, a train that we would develop, called the Horror Express. Here's why.

This train would be patrolled by robots armed with machine guns. The slightest violation of norms and rat-a-tat! The mess that resulted would also be promptly cleaned up. If anyone went to the toilet and didn't clean up after themselves, a mechanized boot would appear out of the wall, and would proceed to kick him/her out of the train. If anyone were to spit on any part of the train, it would self destruct in thirty seconds. Ka-boom! And the USP of the train would be that every ticket came with a guaranteed nervous breakdown, free of charge.

Trains bring out the best in my family. That also seems to liven up the journeys of those travelling with us, whether they like it or not. But that's alright. Like ol' Pelham Grenville would say, into each life, some rain must fall.

P.S.: - This one's for my grandpa, who, I am convinced, was the best one in the world. I'll miss you, Dadubhai.

16 comments:

Ranjit said...

I think the Horror Express is what the Indian Railways needs :)

another brick in the wall said...

oh god.. u and pinky are so alike.. shez just wanna-be you :P

so being late runs in ur family :P

yo inventor of horror express.. if u kick out the ppl who havent cleaned their own poop.. the poop still remains to be cleaned.. u'll hav 2 do the job u dumbass.. make provisions for that first.. god u need my help in so many thngs :P

raghu said...

heheheh.. SANGY BABY=pinky baby=essh.

heh? ok said...

@ ranjit
would you be willing to travel in it?

@ brick
the horror express isn't known for its logic.

@ raghu
its eeeesh.

another brick in the wall said...

u talk as if all ur actions are logical n justified

Atul said...

Hye Sangy
This was cool stuff...
Hope Laloo reads this and takes some pointers on serving the Indian rails...
Well i believe the moment any person gets up from the toilet without flushing it there should be a big hand that comes up and bangs into the a** and makes the person realize how important it is to keep it clean..
This will help a lot I guess…hehe

heh? ok said...

@ atul
i would be very surprised if laloo were to be reading my blog.

n.g. said...

its a relief to know that you were always like this and it wasnt anyone else who caused this irreversible damage and altered your cerebral balance disastrously.

heh? ok said...

@ n.g.
i'm not sharing credit for this with anyone, you'll be relieved to know.

probe said...

good to know that "maybe" is also some1 else's fav word.. bounced off to ur blog from swb.. it's thje word 'Maybe' that stuck on.

raghu said...

ih yes that was a typing mistake.. eeeeesshhh ..now a days ewww is also in vogue.

heh? ok said...

@ probe
indeed, i am someone else :)

@ raghu
thank you for keeping me up to date.

Pankaj said...

is supergirl ur sis? she writes a bit like u

heh? ok said...

@ pankaj
hehe..soul sister maybe.

new age scheherazade said...

hey..thanks.sniff.

heh? ok said...

@ new age scheherazade
no problem. we girls gotta stick together.