Sunday, November 15, 2009

What On Earth Do You Want?

Who is this shimmering, transient quantity called you? Why is it important that you should be? Why do you need to be? And why is this need dulling with every day that passes in a mediocre, less than okay haze? When purpose is missing, and talent questionable, how long can you run? And why are you running? After so many, many days of giving in, why does it rankle so sharply still? The conviction of being something, something worth being, that shone like a torch inside for so many years; where along the way did it quench itself without ceremony? Why do words offer poor consolation, when they have been more than adequate shoulders for a lifetime thus far? And do you even want to know? Or is the asking deliverance enough?

What do you want? Not need, because need is something you have no say over. What do you want with the fierceness of flame and the grit of dripping water seducing rock into sand? What do you want with a passion that rages across your mind and your soul, without relent, without rest? What do you want to be, to assuage a fear building for years, that may be this is all there is and ever will be. What will shield you against the cutting licks of desperation and the beginning of despair? Where has your body of strength disappeared behind a shadow of impersonal mass? Do you want, and want badly enough? Will you, ever again?

14 comments:

St.Banger said...

beer

heh? ok said...

@ banger
thank you for the poetry.

ninkita said...

as i was saying yesterday, when blogger refused to publish my comment....

It's Romance.

If that voice inside you stops telling you how awesome you really are, if you stop believing (without having to think about it) that you are delightfully intriguing...If you don't find yourself interesting enough to be the heroine of your own personal drama..

If you don't clothe your days in that haze of possibilities that made the whole of your young life flow...

If you start thinking that romance is just something you need to depend on someone else to supply...

Wake up!! 'Reality' is just a really sad excuse for having forgotten all about who you always knew you were.

Shiny lights and horrid office dress codes with nasty computer screens can only distract you for so long... sooner or later you will want to go back to that staunch belief... you know what is best for you. You're low cause you know it but you think you can't have it anymore cause its not possible any more.

Get romance back. That is what self belief is all about.

Anonymous said...

It is rather interesting for me to read that post. Thank you for it. I like such themes and anything that is connected to them. I definitely want to read more on that blog soon.

heh? ok said...

@ ninkita
aye aye, cap'n! working on it. love you :)

@ anon
i'm a little flummoxed

Sim said...

question blog?

heh? ok said...

@ sim
any answers forthcoming?

Sim said...

i love your new look!!!blogs i mean...other than that no answers...

Saltwater Blues said...

You got tablecloth on your blog? :) How you doin S? Sab theek I hope.

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heh? ok said...

@ sim
me too. it is very time and mood appropriate :D

@ swb
tablecloth? it's called gingham couture.

@ 123 123
i am stunned at how mindnumbingly stupid spammers can get.

probe said...

i want to sleep with a smile. or maybe, wake up with one. just that, everyday.

Saltwater Blues said...

Begging pardon. I am quite dumb in these matters. Hope you are havng a nice Christmas.

best,
SwB

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