Thursday, February 15, 2007

Love Me Do

So, yes, I know, how much more cliched can it get, writing a post about love on Valentine's Day of all days. I've lived through all of these single so far, and today is no different. And it isn't as though I'm really starry eyed about this entire concept. But today I woke up happy, and I was upbeat all day, listening to mushy numbers and generally being a complete sap. And then I went out for dinner with the sibling and a friend, and waited for half an hour as no tables were available. In that half hour I saw a lot of very badly dressed people, folks holding hands, giving each other flowers, looking like they were in love or desperately trying. And yet, the cynicism did not really reach me today.

I've been wondering for some time now, why it has become so inordinately difficult for us to be upfront about love. Why is it that Valentine's Day is allowed to mean either a vast marketing conspiracy of the Archies/ Hallmark conglomerates, or another day to do what you do everyday, but pay more money and wait in longer queues for it? If you're seeing someone you splurge on a fancy gift, an outfit and dinner, and if you're single you either crib about your singledom or smirk at the foolish twosomes who actually fall for silly things like these. Why is it that a basic enough need to be understood, to be a companion, to not be alone, has become so mired in attitudes and perceptions?

And then there are the ones who love, but will not let it be. They will resist, fight it to the last, because its somehow not a part of their plan. They never planned on being with someone, their family will disapprove, they have too much on their plate. Clarity, where on earth is clarity? If you love, and you're lucky enough to have that returned to you, then do you really think that somehow depriving yourself of it will make your family happy, or clean up your cluttered plate, or make your grand life plan a better success?

I'm a romantic and I don't want to help it. It isn't as if I haven't seen the downside of it, how can one not? I've seen the hurt, the devastation, the struggle to get out of bed every morning. But being comfortably numb is at best a stage, not a solution. Being an automaton isn't living, its better to be broken than to be untouched and lost in an eternity of wondering. Yes I know, I'm not really in a position to say that I understand the pain of it and so whatever I say is superfluous. Maybe it is. But it is essential for me to believe in the possibility of this, the chance that there are still people who aren't content to play it safe, who are ready to feel, however incredible the highs and terrible the lows entailed in that path are.

Finally, since I've been listening to this song all day, its only fair that I subject you to it.

Isn't it strange, the way things can change,
The life that you lead turned on its head,
Suddenly someone means more than you fell for,
A house and its yard turns into home..
I'm sorry but I meant to say
Many things along the way
This one's for YOU..
Have I told you I ache..have I told you I ache..
Have I told you I ache...for YOU?
(Ache-James Carrington)

This one is for all the YOUs of this world, from all the MEs of the world, with lots of love. Happy Valentine's Day, and I hope it means something this time.


n.g. said...

of course it does, not just this time, it always does. somewhere under the marketing blitzkreig that the WEs and the MEs are all subjected to year in and year out. trust me i've got annoying ugly teddies coming out of my ears and i swear if i react ill have maneka gandhi out to sue me. BUT, like always in this situation it is so important to know yourself to know to meaning of everything else. i dont deny the THEMs of the world their choices - its the way they want valentine's day to be, and i respect that. its different for the WEs, there's no right or wrong. it's just different perspectives. i dont think you need a valentine's day to show someone how you are hopelessly in love with them, maybe the THEMs look at it as a reason/excuse to do something that they really aught to be doing all year round? i dont know, and it doesnt matter what i think. everything is subjective.

on that note, an interesting anecdote. i was watching music and lyrics last night, with 4 of my best friends. the theater was packed with couples, i think we were the only 5 eyesores in the house. the film is about how drew b and hugh g get together and write a song, so after the film when we were walking out i heard a woman whisper sadly to her beau behind me 'you never wrote a song for me.' to which he replied 'you dont look like drew barrymore.'

so happy valentine's day.

Anonymous said...

I didnt understand a single word you wrote in there. It's good being the idiot.

sim said...

you know what!!!
sangeeta....oh my god!!!!please remind me to tell you my comments in person!

raghu said...

i hav bin tellin dis 2 evry other person ive met.. love is someone 4 urself.. ders no way dey can hurt u den.. ur one ,evel abou numbness.. its almost bliss.. u dnt ven need the person.. :D
dats hw i love..jus 4 myself.

raghu said...

love someone 4 urself*

ya its obvi its all commerce.. n dumb n stuff.. n dats the fun.. :P

**If you love, and you're lucky enough to have that returned to you, then do you really think that somehow depriving yourself of it will make your family happy, or clean up your cluttered plate, or make your grand life plan a better success?**

dunno..i havnt evr thot of it.. completely depends.. ders noway i can ans dis nw.. i hvta love 4 dat..:P
which i surely dont.. n most prolly i wont 4 sumtime.

ps:i had dinner alone yesterday.. jus as usual
my dad dint rmbr twas valentines.. n neither did i..v both thot it was the day b4.. :P

heh? ok said...

@ n.g.
ok. lemme see. what i'm saying is pretty simplistic, i know, but sometimes its nice to have a day dedicated to finer feelings, y'know? we could do a lot worse.

@ the idiot
good for you.

@ sim
thankee for telling me in person. happeeeeee!!

@ raghu
hehehe..well its good that you both forgot.

Atul said...

Nice post Sangy...
Well I think there are some souls (70% without exaggerating) who know that they are not in love or are maybe just passing time by celebrating V Day in some jazzy restaurant, but still end up spending some quality time with a stranger and move on. That is called getting happiness out of nothing even remotely related to love.
On the other hand there are some (25%) who know that they are in love and it is really true, they end up exchanging a rose or two and making the best out of a day by making their partner realize they really do love them.
The third type of species (1% and a rare breed to find) are the ones who don't want to accept that life can be beautiful for them and they can also fall in love, they just want to tell them that they are the ones who should always be struggling against the rules of life and if there is something that they love being with, they just kick it so hard that it never returns. This is called screwing up big-time by kicking your own ass. They are the kinds who not only end up screwing their life but also hurt the people who care for them.
You must be wondering where is the other 4%, its there for extremely lucky people who are just out of this love business and enjoy life the way it touches them. They are the ones who live life king size.

Happy Valentine’s Day

akhila said...

oh my god!!! u have got some very looong comments so i will keep this short. on a day when i was completely numb ur post poked me to tell me who i really was and i realised that i was happy being it... :)

heh? ok said...

@ atul
soreness. never mind. it gets better eventually.

@ akhila
awwwww!!! i did that!! yay!

Exigo animus said...

soooo much abou love?!?!

heh? ok said...

@ raghu
why so surprised? people have a lot to say on it y'know.

Exigo Animus said...

yaa a lott.. hope dey belive in wat dey say..cos 4 nw i belive i wat i hav said.. god alone noes wat ill do tmmr!

another brick in the wall said...


1stly i must say ths was a gr8 post n i enjoyed it tho it talked bout something i've started despising so much.. cz my belief tht its oh-so-superficial is becomin stronger more than ever! no.. dont hav the patience to justify! it jst kills so much more than it intends to beautify that its pathetic! finally.. its jst some stupid emotion.. so its some stupid distraction n bloody useless.. rate me a loser, moron wateva for sayin ths as b4.. but i stick 2 it!

well again.. well written :).. keep it up :)

heh? ok said...

@ brick
you're so hopeless.

Exigo Animus said...

oye i commented on all ur october 2006 posts.. :D

Urban Bourbon Ninja said...

aww... thanks for the song.

heh? ok said...

@ ninja problem :P

SwB said...

"its better to be broken than to be untouched and lost in an eternity of wondering"

i agree ... o wise one :)

heh? ok said...

@ swb
i am pretty wise, i know :P

new age scheherazade said...

interesting post...that's exactly how i feel about Valentine's day...but then if you're in love, that's great, but hey-if you're not, what can you really do except smirk and act cynical?

heh? ok said...

@ scheherazade
you can smile and let things be, no?

raghu said...

ya guess smile n let things go sounds bettr.. u dont hvta "act" cynical..:S