Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Braindead

My internet cable stopped working last week. Yes, I know, bigger calamities have befallen the world. And I survived pretty well, I think. But the process of getting it fixed was so protracted and painful that it brought out my claws. I tried calling the local service provider. He told me he's show up the next day. I completed the whole rigmarole of getting the warden's permission, and the donkey did not show up for the next three days. Then I decided it was time for a little violence. I called him up again.

Me: - I'm calling from so-and -so hostel. I've been waiting to get this thing fixed for three days now. Do you intend to show up?
'Service Provider': - Oh of course. It'll be done today.
Me: - That's what you told me three days ago. How do you measure days and nights?
'SP': - Actually you see, this is not my job. I deal with collection. Please call Fool #2 at this number.
Me:- Fool #2 has switched off his phone.
'SP': - It isn't my problem
My thought bubble: - Oh, sweet, you have had it now.
Me: - Alright, I'll have to deal with it. I'll find someone who listens.
'SP': - Ehehe....I'll send someone over.
Me: - Sure you will.
I hang up. Which indicates that my temper has gone beyond the bend, because I NEVER hang up on ANYONE in the middle of a conversation.

Still, some part of scary me must have been effective because the guy did send a technician who told us that all the wires had been eaten up by squirrels. I used to find them cute and cuddly. Now I see a demonic glint in their rapacious eyes. The wires were replaced, but my connection resolutely refused to work, and I had by this time crossed all limits of exasperation. So I called the customer service guys at the main service provider.
Me: - Seven whole days it has been. Let me tell you one thing. If you cannot provide service, please shut shop. Just because you have a monopoly on campus doesn't mean that you can do whatever you please. Nautanki samajhke rakha hai? We have better things to do than to wait around all day for your engineers to show up. Please do one of either: do not give cause for complaints, or have the grace to respond quickly when they occur. And please inform the local guys that they aren't doing us a favour.
[Note to reader: - I always conduct these conversations in my sweetest, most reasonable voice. It makes retaliation tricky. Therefore, if I'm too polite to you, you'll know that I'm really mad at you].
I probably ruined that techie's day.

Anyway, it worked. The two engineers who showed up discovered that the previous blockhead had joined blue wires to orange instead of joining wires of the same colour. He also discovered that our local man has been giving two connections in the space allotted for one. So my connection got fixed, and the company was informed about the creative permutations and combinations that 'SP' has been using on the sly to make a quick couple of hundred bucks.

Hah....Don't mess with me.

Among other things,

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all...
The morning rain clouds up my window,
And I can't see at all,
Even if I could it'd all be grey
But the picture on my wall,
It reminds me that its not so bad, its not so ba-a-ad.

And A-a-aiiiii want to thank you,
For giving me the best day-hey of my laa-i-aaife
And o-o-oh, just to be with you
Is having the best day-hey of my life....

Dido. Dang it, you're a woman.

Actually, it doesn't matter. Marry me anyway.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can almost see this soap opera gleam in your misadventures with Airtel. I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end though. Shiver!. Double Shiver!!
So you wannna marry Dido, interesting (cough cough, Ahem!).

-Sleepyhead Loser

i-me-myself said...

Ah, another great blog discovered which I can read away during office hours (and then die of guilt when its time to go home) :) Nice blog girlie!(something tells me you hate being called girlie) :) Enjoyed reading a lot of your old posts.

sun4none said...

Therefore, if I'm too polite to you, you'll know that I'm really mad at you

shit! tht means u've been pissed off wid me whn i was talkn 2 u! holy shit sangy.. now am all scared.. bhadak mat na plz plz :P

terese ek baar ladna padega be :P

bout dido.. see! see! i told u! dammit! i told u.. even i find her cute etc.. all 3 of us will make a happy family.. am tellin u! thts wat i meant whn i told ya yestrday 2 start checkin out chicks.. am so happy u've started takin my advice seriously :P

finally.. lets all marry dido.. as in me n u both! :P

Anonymous said...

Looks like another Squirrel Attack.

Idiot.

sim said...

pata hai pata hai, the song is really nice but u know where i like it most!!!!
arre sukrit ko kya pata hum sab dono chicks aur guys ko check out karte hai, more fun and its way better to have more choice na!!!
aur na if you know sangy really well theres no way she can scare u!! heheheheheheh

n.g. said...

you want to marry dido, you take token and get in line and go sit at the back near the coffee machine.

raghu said...

braindead?
u sure u dint want 2 type out something else?

heh? ok said...

oh my..ok.

@sleepyhead
i wish. i wish it was airtel.
@ i-me-myself
thank you. glad you enjoyed it. since its your first time, you're forgiven. but don't ever call me girlie again :)
@ sun
that isn't polte, how i am to you. and no, i don't believe in menage a trois, so its just her and me.
@ idiot
i HATE sify.
@ sim
be afraid. be VERY afraid.
@ n.g.
i'll fight you for her. no lines for sangy.\
@ raghu
i said braindead coz i meant braindead. it was at 3 am.

raghu said...

ur delhi log also na..3am mein wats wrong!!
aarraaam se sone ka..aftrnoon mein.. n stay awake na.. till nice 4-5 am!
:D

Red said...

jinxed you are i think.. after you left my place, MY internet stopped working for two days.. lol..

heh? ok said...

@ red
tell me about it...i'm getting a new connection soon.

raghu said...

heya i jus added tabs 2 my bloggy.. it came out neatly.. the funny thing is coincidentally the tab "me" is betwn deep n fun!
hahah..lol!

Anonymous said...

Where is you dearie?

-Idiot

Reej said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Reej said...

sorry abt the deleted space.. here goes hon..
... drank too much last night got bills to pay
my head just feels in pain..
i missed the bus .. there will be hell to pay
i'm late for work again..
even if i'm there they'll all imply
that i might not last the day
but then you call me
and it's not so bad..
and aiiiiiii want to thankyou
for giving the best day-e-he of my life
..heehee.. No Angel!